T'was the week before Christmas, when all through the office,
not a salesman was tired, not even the novice.
The telephones were ringing and answered with care,
as next-day delivery heaters soon would be there.
The customers were nestled all snug in their homes,
while visions of heaters warmed their cold bones.
Accounts were busy crunching the numbers,
whilst sales were dressed in snazzy Christmas jumpers.
When out on the mezzanine there arose such a clatter,
Louise in HR went to see what was the matter.
It was Richard in the warehouse packing the van,
with heaters and towel rails - he's such a nice man.
Finance was counting the end of year stock,
whilst Joe, Jack & Deano were eating the chocs.
When, Mike the designer suddenly jeered,
When Ron from IT came in late - with his ever-growing beard.
Then, with a little old boss, so loud with a howl,
I knew in a moment it must be Chris Powell.
More rapid than eagles, his sales force they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Louise! Now Paul!
Now, Jack, Joe and Karl!
On, Tracey! On, Gemma!
On, Liam & Deano!
To the top of the stairs!
To the top of the hall!
Now sell away! Sell away!
Sell away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane erodes,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the roads.
So up to the warehouse the coursers they ran,
with the pallet full of heaters, into the couriers van.
And then, in a twinkling at the customer's door,
With free next-day delivery, you couldn't ask for more.
Drawing their head and turning around,
through the door the courier came with a bound.
He was dressed oh-so-smart, from his head to his feet,
and his clothes were all ironed and ready to greet.
A bundle of heaters he had delicately wrapped,
and he looked very happy to open his pack.
His eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the tash under his nose was as big as they grow.
The smile on his face went from ear to ear,
as he made a quick joke about the new year.
He had a fat face and a little fat belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was rather obese, originally from Fife,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of 'the wife'.
A wink of his eye and a 'nice to meet ya',
as I gratefully received my fabulous new heater.
He swiftly turned to his van with a skip,
and hoped on his way home - he might see St Nick.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
picking it gently, to his van he then goes.
He wheelied out of the drive, with a big thumbs up,
and away he drove off to the great Heater Shop.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"